tek's rating:

Heatstroke, on Sci-Fi
Dread Central; IMDb; Sonar Entertainment; Wikipedia

Caution: spoilers.

Okay. There was this guy named Steve O'Bannon (D.B. Sweeney), who was flying an ultralight over some tropical island or whatever, when it got attacked by an alien, though that wasn't entirely clear. Anyway, he crashed on the beach, right where a photo shoot was going on. There were two models, or three if you count Caroline (Danica McKellar). She was in charge of the shoot, her first time directing or whatever, so of course she was upset that O'Bannon wrecked her chance to prove herself capable of more than just modeling. But after one or two altercations, she gets over that and actually starts to like him.

But before she gets involved in his mission... well, we get to find out just what he was doing there in the first place. He's in charge of a military operation, that's spent several years searching for aliens that apparently came to Earth in 1975. His team includes a woman named Jill and her, um, I dunno, boyfriend or husband, who I think was called Al. And there was a guy called Romeo, and another guy called Mental. I think that was everyone. Anyway, they basically track a certain kind of radiation called "Tau Alpha" or something like that, which apparently isn't produced by anything on Earth. Meanwhile, back home there's a woman who I think was called Taggart, who was dealing with a major in the military, who didn't believe in aliens, and finally I guess he managed to get the mission shut down.

However, the team on the island extracted an alien claw from O'Bannon's flight recorder, so Taggart and the Major and a group of soldiers headed to the island. (Oh, I should mention that Jill is a Christian who was disturbed to find proof that aliens exist.) Anyway, Al manages to kill one of the aliens and brings it back to the camp, but... he's been possessed. And um... there's a local sheriff called Angel, whose grandmother has nightmares about aliens with red eyes, and volcanoes and stuff. Also she sees them in the TV. O'Bannon has also been having these nightmares since he was a kid... in 1975. Which is also when a volcano on the island erupted. And since then it's been hotter. And the bugs have gotten bigger. Which is convenient for the aliens, which eat the bugs. Anyway, Angel will help out O'Bannon's team. And I guess his grandmother does, too, though mostly she just sounds crazy.

Um... anyway, the military reinforcements show up, they all go alien-hunting and get slaughtered, predictably. Eventually our heroes realize the aliens are trying to heat up the whole Earth by speeding up global warming, so that all that will be left is insects (and no humans to get in the way of the buffet). But once they realize the humans know this, I guess it means their plans are ruined, so rather than let O'Bannon's team stop the plan, the aliens accelerate the plan, so that all life (including insects) will be wiped out in a matter of hours. So a missile strike is necessary to destroy the aliens' device. But Taggart just wants to talk to the aliens and be friends. Admirable up to a point... a point which had long since passed into the realm of idiocy, what with all the killing they'd been doing (oh, and the whole planning-to-wipe-out-all-life thing).

Eh. I've said too much. But it doesn't really matter. I'm probably also forgetting some things, which also doesn't matter. The movie is neither good nor bad, but at least I watched the whole thing and didn't feel I'd completely wasted my time. I also don't feel like I would've missed anything if I hadn't watched it. *shrug* Just, whatever....

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