Let's begin...

5ive Days to Midnight, Sci-Fi Channel
IMDb; Sci-Fi Channel

While physics professor J.T. Neumeyer and his daughter Jesse are visiting J.T.'s wife's grave on the anniversary of her death ten years ago (also Jesse's birthday), a futuristic briefcase appears behind the grave, with the name "Professor J.T. Neumeyer" on it. Once. J.T. figures out the code to open it, he finds a police file of his own death, which will happen in five days (though the case is from 50 years in the future).

At first he doesn't believe it's real, but soon it becomes clear that it is. There are a few suspects, including his current girlfriend, Claudia (or Angela), who we like; her ex, a gangster named Roy Bremmer; a former student of J.T.'s, Carl Axelrod; and Brad Hume, who is another professor and I believe J.T.'s brother in law. J.T. has to try to figure out who killed him, and try to prevent it. He gets help in his investigation from a homicide detective named Sikorski, but things get complicated, of course, and in the end, I'm pretty sure nothing happened remotely like it did originally, and I still have no idea who might have done it. Despite the fact that some people tried to make sure it happened again, each for their own reasons. Or because of that fact, I dunno. I won't tell you whether it did, or not. But in any event... it wasn't a bad way to spend a few nights. Not the greatest miniseries, but it was okay. Dunno what else to tell you.

Gormenghast, British
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Well, this was just weird. Really weird. Interesting, I guess. Steerpike was certainly an interesting character. So was Dr. Prunesquallor. The whole damn thing was just rather bizarre, and I don't know what to say about it.

Golden Years, CBS
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This was a miniseries from Stephen King, in which this old janitor guy is exposed to an explosion in the lab where he works, and then starts getting younger, and the government is chasing him or something. Okay, I don't remember it that well. I'd like to see it again. And I missed the end of it. Felicity Huffman was in it, and we certainly like her.

Hercules, NBC
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Amphitryon, a noble warrior of Thebes, returns from war to find his wife, Alcmene (who we like). She and her family worshipped Hera, while Amphitryon worships Zeus. (Alcmene is Hera's high priestess.) And of course, Zeus and Hera are at war with each other. The whole movie is about the war between them, although we never actually see either of them. In fact, there never seems to be any absolute proof they even exist (which seems pointless, since despite any evidence of gods, there are plenty of mythological creatures, such as nymphs, satyrs, centaurs, a hydra, a sphinx, harpies, etc.), but that doesn't stop their respective followers from doing all sorts of terrible stuff in their names. Anyway, Alcmene doesn't really want to be with Amphitryon, but has no choice. And the night his ship returns, she's raped by someone, who she at first thinks is him, but later believes to be Zeus. Turns out Amphitryon was on his ship all night, and the next day... he's with Alcmene. She later bears two sons, Iphicles (Amphitryon's son), and Hercules (Zeus's son). She wants nothing to do with Hercules, wants him dead. But Amphitryon won't kill the son of his god. (Toward the end of the movie, it is suggested that Zeus isn't actually his father, it's maybe someone else, but I won't say who.)

Anyway, one day Hercules and Iphicles are being taught music and biology by a poet named Linus, and Hercules seems to kill Linus, accidentally. For this, he is banished from Thebes; though later Linus is revived by a nymph named Deianeira (who we quite like). Eventually, Hercules will fall in love with her, and Linus will become his faithful sidekick and write songs of his adventures. But anyway, one night Megara (who we like), daughter of King Creon of Thebes (and also a priestess of Hera) has sex with Hercules, but later claims he raped her. She also bears Hercules three sons, who hate him. Later he saves the king, and all Thebes, when he slays the hydra (in a battle which claims the life of Amphitryon). The king gives him Megara to wed, as a reward. Alcmene, Megara, and Iphicles plot together against Hercules (though eventually they'll all betray each other in various ways). They trick Hercules's sons into trying to kill him, disguised as demons, after Megara has drugged him, thus tricking him into killing them.

The king sends him to the oracle at Delphi (who turns out to be Tiresias, an important player in the whole story, from beginning to end) to find a way to atone for his crime, and the oracle says he must perform five labors for King Eurystheus of Tiryns (son of the late Sthenelus, a usurper who had killed Alcmene's family, though he was also her uncle). Eurystheus is now married to Megara (their marriage united Thebes and Tiryns; they had been engaged prior to Hercules slaying the hydra). So he goes off and does each task set to him, fighting monsters and whatnot, which Megara and her cohorts hope will destroy him. Each time he wins his battle. One of these battles is against a bandit named Antaeus, who kills Hercules's centaur friend, Kiron. Actually, two of the battles are against him.

Anyway... the people of Tiryns get to like Hercules more and more, with each victory. And he has a son named Hyllus with Deianeira, and Hercules wants him to marry Megara and Eurystheus's daughter Iole, but no one else seems to want that. And lots of other stuff happens, including a big melee, and eventually Hercules and Deianeira get married by Linus. And Hercules hopes Zeus and Hera can learn to love each other. The end. I'm probably forgetting some important details or maybe mixing some things up. It was all rather complicated, and I don't think it followed proper mythology all that well. Nevertheless, I found it reasonably enjoyable, I guess.

I've Been Waiting For You
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I think this was on FOX, I'm not sure. But years later I taped it off a rerun on Lifetime. Anyway, it was made in the wake of movies like "Scream" and "I Know What You Did Last Summer," and um... I think it was supposed to be a theatrical movie, but I don't think it ever was. It wasn't really worse than any of those movies, but its cast was more TV-ish. Markie Post was in it. Sarah Chalke was in it, who played one of the Beckys on "Roseanne." We like her. I was especially glad to see Ben Foster in it, because I think it's the first thing I saw him in other than Flash Forward (see kid stuff).

Anyway, there was this girl named Sarah who moved with her mom from L.A. to a small town in Massachusetts. 300 years ago a witch was burned at the stake there and she had promised to return for revenge on the descendants of those who did it. So now all these kids who are descendants think Sarah is her or whatever. Anyway, the movie isn't great, but I liked it well enough.

Legend of Earthsea, Sci-Fi Channel
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Miniseries based on books by Ursula K. LeGuin, which, alas, I have not read. No doubt they were better than the miniseries. Not that I disliked it. Indeed, I enjoyed it well enough, I guess. Let's see. There's this guy named Ged whose father is a blacksmith, but Ged has always had visions, and he wants to become a wizard. And he's taught by some mysterious woman who doesn't remember who she is. Then he goes off with this wizard named Ogion, but his ways of teaching are far too slow for Ged's taste, so instead he goes to a wizard school. There he makes a friend named Vetch, and makes an enemy named Jasper; the latter gets him to do some dumb things, including accidentally releasing an evil thing into the world. So Ged has to leave the school while this evil thing- which has now become a more powerful evil thing called a Gebbeth- hunts him. Until Ogion tells him to become the hunter.

Meanwhile, this girl named Tenar, who Ged has seen in his visions, is a priestess in an order which has long been keeping a bunch of nameless evil things locked up. There's another priestess, Kossil, who is plotting to take over the position of high priestess from the current one, Thar, who she tricks a girl named Rosa into poisoning, slowly over time. Kossil is the lover of King Tygath, who is slowly taking over all of Earthsea by conquest, but he needs Kossil to find out the incantation to release the evil things, because they both think the things will grant them immortality.

He is also aware of a prophecy that someday a wizard will put together this old broken amulet which will ruin all his plans, so he has people out searching for the wizard, who is of course, Ged. Eventually Ged teams up with Vetch, who has graduated wizard school, to try and find and stop the Gebbeth. In the course of their search, they learn about the amulet. So, their new quest leads them to the island of the priestesses, where Ged meets Tenar, who has been imprisoned by Kossil. And then more stuff happens and everyone lives happily ever after. I guess.

The Lost Room, Sci-Fi Channel
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Detective Joe Miller comes into possession of a key that leads to a motel room that doesn't exist. It can also be used on any door to gain access to any other door in the world (that has the right type of lock), as long as you can picture the door you want. Otherwise the door it takes you to will be random. Anyway, the key is an Object. There are said to be at least 100 Objects throughout the world, all of which were in the motel room when something happened on May 4, 1961. At that point, the Room and all its contents were erased from reality, as if they never existed (though because the Room is accessible with the Key, the Objects can be brought out into the real world). No one knows what the Event was that caused this, but it made all the Objects indestructible, and gave each a power, with varying degress of usefulness. (And most of the other Objects' powers don't seem to correspond quite as well to their original purposes as does the Key's.) Oh, it is also important to note that Objects' powers don't work in the Room. Except, of course, the Key's.

Also, each time you leave the Room and close the door, it gets reset, so anything that didn't belong in the room that was left there disappears, and any Objects left anywhere in the Room will return to their location at the time of the Event. Anyway, ever since the Event, there have been various cabals as well as individuals who seek the Objects, though in large part this is because the Objects inherently attract each other. But different people and groups have different theories about the Objects, and different motives for collecting them. Few if any such people, however, are to be trusted. One man who wanted the Key was Howard Montague, aka "The Weasel." He kidnapped Joe's 8-year-old daughter Anna, to trade for the Key. It's during a fight between Joe and the Weasel that Anna accidentally gets lost in the Room when it resets, and this sets up the premise for the rest of the miniseries: Joe's efforts to try to get his daughter back.

Complicating matters is the fact that Joe was in the middle of a custody battle with his ex-wife (who we never see). So when Anna goes missing, Joe is suspected of kidnapping, or worse. Meanwhile, the only person he can trust, and the only one he told about the Key (who didn't already know about it) was his partner, Detective Lou Destefano, who tries to help him. But a forensic scientist they work with, Dr. Martin Ruber, also learns of the Key, and other Objects, and becomes obsessed with them. Particularly, with getting to the Room. (I was never clear on what initially motivated him so fiercely, and that bugs me.) And so, he does whatever he has to to join a cabal called the Order of the Reunification, which wishes to collect all the Objects in order to communicate with God. One of the leaders of the Order is Roberta Milne, though she gets in a bit of trouble when Ruber steals a couple of the Objects they possess, to help Joe....

But I'm getting ahead of myself. At one point, Ruber murders Lou, but Joe is blamed for it. So, he's on the lam. Which makes having the Key pretty convenient. He'll be tracked by another friend and former coworker of his, Detective Lee Bridgewater. But he still has to keep looking for a way to bring his daughter back, so he forges various alliances, though as I say, no one is entirely trustworthy. The one he gets closest to, however, is Jennifer Bloom (who we kinda like), a member of a cabal called "The Legion." There's also a former member of the Legion, Karl Kreutzfeld, who's now a wealthy independent collector of Objects. He also wants the Key, of course, but teams up with Joe so they can help each other. Kreutzfeld is more interested in obtaining the Glass Eye, which has the power to destroy or repair all flesh. He claims to want to use it to cure his son's leukemia, which makes Joe more willing to trust him. But Jennifer certainly doesn't trust him, and warns Joe about him.

Of course, Joe will do whatever it takes to get his daughter back, and that means working with anyone he needs at any given time, including Ruber, or the Weasel, or anyone. There's a guy named Wally Jabrowski who has a Bus Ticket that will send anyone instantly to a spot outside of Gallup, New Mexico if they touch it. He seems, after a rocky start, to be the most trustworthy person Joe encounters, and off and on provides alot of help, as well as information. Then there's a guy named Harold Stritzke, who has a Comb that stops time for like 10 seconds. He inherited it from his aunt, who was once a member, if I followed correctly, of the original cabal, the Collectors. Again, rocky start, but becomes helpful. Even provides some Polaroids that will help Joe on his quest. And there are a couple of people who track Objects but don't get involved with them personally. The Sood can provide information about their history and such, while Suzie Kang sells the locations of various Objects to people who are looking for them (though apparently she won't deal with cabals like the Legion or the Order).

Eventually, Joe also learns of another Object, the Occupant. He's the man who was in the motel room when the Event happened. Joe will find him, and learn a bit from him, but not everything. The guy was in a sanitarium, and... he clearly hasn't aged since 1961. Like all Objects, he's indestructible. He can't die, and he really wants to. And he'll tell Joe how to get Anna back, but it's something Joe really doesn't want to do. Not only does he perceive the action as highly unethical, it's also very risky in certain ways, and even if those risks don't manifest... Joe will still be changed, and there will no doubt be lasting consequences, his life changed forever. But is he willing to do it to get his daughter back, the purpose of this whole miniseries? Eh?

I won't say. But I will say that the story ends soon after that point, and Joe's quest is resolved one way or the other. But there are plenty of questions left unanswered, plenty of avenues left to explore. Roberta Milne was passed over for promotion within the Order, in favor of some other guy whose name I didn't catch. But she goes after Ruber to retrieve the stolen Objects, and to kill him. However, when he reveals to her a vision he says he received from the Occupant, and now claims to be a Prophet, she changes her mind, and helps him escape. On the way out, he confesses to Bridgewater that he killed Lou Destefano, and talks a bit about the Objects and the Room. And I'm sure she believes him, so no doubt she now has more questions she wants answered. And something happened to Kreutzfeld, though it's unclear if he might be seen again. And both the Order and the Legion are still out there, as well as any number of independent collectors. And we've still never learned what the Event was. Oh, so many questions, so many possibilities...

Anyway. I think alot of stuff was predictable. Alot didn't make much sense. And alot was just entirely too convenient. But even so, the world that was established by the miniseries is a fascinating one, and it was very entertaining to watch, so I wouldn't mind seeing the story continued. I heard that it could turn into a regular series, which I suppose I'd check out if it happened, though I'd kind of prefer to just see a sequel. And if the story just ends here, well it'll be a bit frustrating, but acceptable. I guess. It was fun while it lasted....

Merlin, NBC
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I don't remember it well. I dunno how much I liked it, but it had a good cast, anyway. It's about the wizard, of course. Someday I swear I'll see it again and give it a proper review.

Merlin's Apprentice, Hallmark Channel
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This is the sequel to the 1998 miniseries Merlin (see above). And um... it was just okay. After everything turned out fine for Arthur and Camelot, Merlin went to take a nap, which he expected would last a season. However, it turned out to last 50 years, and when he woke up, his friends were dead and the Holy Grail was missing and Camelot wasn't doing so hot. The steward of the throne was this lord named Weston, who wanted to marry a lady named Yvonne (who we kinda liked). She's supposedly the granddaughter of Sir Gawain. But she was in love with a blacksmith named Graham. But they denied themselves a life together because of duty to Weston, who really wasn't such a bad guy. And then there was this rather clumsy thief named Jack, who happened to know a bit of magic, though he wasn't very good at it. And there was a squire named Brian who wanted to become a knight. Right away I guessed that he might be a girl, but for a change... I wasn't certain of it. Usually in stories like this, you really have to suspend disbelief that no one suspects the truth about such things, but here, I believed it. Of course, I turned out to be right, and she and Jack end up together eventually.

Anyway, Jack becomes Merlin's apprentice, and meanwhile there are enemies of Camelot who are being aided by the Lady of the Lake. And there's a surprise revelation about Jack's parentage (by which I mean the characters are surprised, not the viewers). And everyone has to search for the Holy Grail to restore Camelot. And there's a couple named Master Burton and Mistress Deborah who always looked after Yvonne, and advised Weston, though they turned out not to be trustworthy. Anyway... I dunno, there isn't really anything surprising or terribly interesting about the movie, but it wasn't bad. I guess I'd probably put it on tier 7 or 8....

The Mists of Avalon, TNT
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Based on a novel by Marion Zimmer Bradley, this told the story of King Arthur from a more Druidic and feminine point of view. Actually it was basically about Morgaine. Not a bad story, and it had a terrific cast. There was one important part of this story that made me very much want to kill Merlin and Viviane. Um... I dunno what else to say about it at the moment.

Monster Island, MTV
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A send-up of 50s B-movies (or Z-movies). This girl named Jen (who we like) enters everyone she knows in some contest (including her older brother Josh, who wins) to get the whole school or whatever to some remote island for some MTV special featuring Carmen Electra. Josh's girlfriend Maddy (who we like) has recently broken up with him and started dating some jerk who wants to be President someday.

Anyway, while Carmen is performing she's snatched by a giant flying ant, and then Josh gets a group of kids to go with him and try to rescue her. Including Maddy, who at one point puts on a necklace she finds and gets possessed by the goddess of an indigenous people who were displaced some time ago by the government, who dropped atomic bombs on the island. The only survivor of the government is a scientist played by Adam West. Anyway, the kids, along with some folks from MTV trying to advance their careers, and Carmen's bodyguard, have to fight giant mutant insects and stuff. It's all very stupid and cheesy, but that's the point. That's what makes the movie funny.

Mysterious Island, Hallmark Channel
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It starts with a voiceover by Patrick Stewart talking about the island. Then we see a few pirates show up looking for treasure. One is dragged off by some creature, the others get out in a hurry. Then we see a Confederate prison camp during the Civil War, where a Union captain named Cyrus Smith, and a former slave named Neb are planning their escape. A Southerner named Pencroff, who has been arrested for embezzlement, overhears their plans, and so they let him join them. They also take along a widow named Jane Spillet and her daughter Helen (both of whom we like). They steal a balloon, and later crash near this island, and drift to shore.

They will have to face plenty of giant creatures, mostly bugs. They will also meet the infamous Captain Nemo (Patrick Stewart), who has been living on the island for like 10 years, wishing to remain isolated from the world. All that is left of his crew is his manservant, Joseph, who sympathizes with these strangers more than Nemo does, and helps them on several occasions. Nemo wants Smith, an engineer, to help him create a bomb he's designed, which uses a radioactive substance found only on this island (which incidentally is what makes the creatures on the island so big). He's decided war is going to destroy mankind, and it must be stopped, and the only way to do that is to create a weapon so powerful that no one would ever dare start another war. Smith refuses to help, so Nemo casts them all out of his complex, to fend for themselves. So they have to deal with the creatures, of course, as well as more pirates who show up looking for the legendary treasure.

Pretty much the only one of the pirates who wants to stay to find the treasure is the captain, Bob Harvey. The others are all scared of the island and want to leave, but they're more scared of him. One of them, however, was left for dead early on, a man named Blake who never really wanted to be a pirate, but had been sort of adopted by Harvey. He befriended Helen and the others, and helped them out. They also met an old friend of his named Ayrton, who Harvey had stranded on the island years ago. Anyway, in the end, after all the obstacles they overcome, and some deaths along the way, they're all driven from the island by a volcano. The end.

The movie is, of course, based on the book by Jules Verne, which alas, I've never read, so I can't make any comparisons. I thought the movie was okay, but not really great. Definitely not something I ever care to see again, but I don't mind having seen it this once. I still might want to read the book someday, or see some of the other film adaptations that have been made over the years...

The Odyssey, NBC
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Based, of course, on the epic saga by Homer. What to say about the miniseries? I don't remember it well. I dunno if it was very good. But it had a good cast.

Taken, Sci-Fi Channel
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An epic 10-part miniseries starting in the 1940's and leading up to contemporary days. Back in World War II, UFO's (or Foo Fighters) would fly alongside fighter planes. Apparently the aliens found that when they abducted humans, the subjects would eventually die. But one pilot didn't, and so they spent a few generations abducting him and his descendants, trying to discover what made him different. Meanwhile, in 1947, a flying saucer collided with a weather balloon and crashed outside Roswell, NM. Some aliens died; one was taken alive by the military, and studied for a time. One alien eluded them, and appeared in human guise to a lonely housewife in Texas whose husband was a travelling salesman and was away. Or had left her, or something, I forget. Anyway, this alien stayed with her and her kids for awhile, and ended up impregnating her before leaving. The aliens would watch the offspring and his descendants for a few generations.

There was also a young intelligence officer in the air force who was involved in the project to study aliens and cover up the truth. He married the daughter of the colonel who was in charge of the project, and eventually usurped it from him. The story would also follow him and his descendants for a few generations of their involvement in the project. It all ultimately led to the aliens abducting a descendant of the WWII pilot and a descendant of the alien, and having them conceive a child together. A precocious little girl named Allie.

She didn't actually arrive on the scene until half way through the series, but she narrated it from the beginning. She was a really great character, seamlessly blending wisdom beyond her years with a childlike innocence which was most appropriate, what with her being a child, and all. And that's what she wanted to be, just a normal kid, but ultimately she realized she didn't really have a choice. She had powers, and she was wanted by both the aliens and the government project (which was eventually taken over by the army). Allie was played brilliantly by Dakota Fanning, a young actress possessed of remarkable talents and an unearthly beauty (I want to say a childlike beauty, but that wouldn't be right, because she is a child). Anyway... the series ended sort of predictably, something of a letdown, I felt, but still... I don't really see that there was much of any other way it could have ended. Not and be both for the better, and believable, anyway. Well, a pretty good story, all in all. Bit hard to follow early on, but after the first few episodes it really started to gel, and then the earlier episodes made more sense in retrospect, I thought....

The 10th Kingdom, NBC
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This was a pretty fun miniseries. A modern fairy tale. Sort of. It's getting rather popular these days to modernize fairy tales in books and stories and TV and whatnot, put humorous and ironic twists on them and stuff. I dunno. Anyway, this was kinda fun and well made. It had John Larroquette, an actor whose work I've always enjoyed. And Kimberly Williams, who we rather like. Also Scott Cohen who's been in Gilmore Girls as well as at least one Passat commercial. He's cool. He played a wolf. Um, dunno what else. Bunch of other good people in the cast. Fun story and stuff. People from our world get involved in this fantasy world that unites a bunch of different classic fairy tales. It was... fun....

Ultraviolet, British, Sci-Fi Channel
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Hmmm... Well, this was interesting. I don't remember it well, though. It was about like some government group or whatever hunting vampires. I wish I could tell you more, but I can't. Sorry. Except, don't confuse it with the theatrical movie of the same name. Even if it is pretty much the same idea.

V
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This was a miniseries about aliens who tried to conquer Earth or something. It spawned a short series of the same name (shows I want to see). I don't remember either of these things very well. I'd love to see them both again someday.