Tales from the Crypt presents: Bordello of Blood (R)
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This is the second feature film spin-off of the TV series Tales from the Crypt, following Demon Knight. I was certainly aware of it when it came out in 1996, and I vaguely recall wanting to see it, probably because it starred Dennis Miller, of whom I was a fan from Saturday Night Live. But I didn't see it until 2015. There were other people in it whom I also know from other things, perhaps most importantly Corey Feldman. His role wasn't huge, but his character becomes a vampire, which is cool because he's more famous for playing a vampire hunter in The Lost Boys. Anyway, this movie is definitely much more of a comedy than "Demon Knight" was. And it's not really a good movie, but there were a few things in it that I found amusing. Also, one scene makes pretty good use of the song "Ballroom Blitz."

It begins with a scene of some guys looking for a hidden treasure. Their leader is Vincent (Phil Fondacaro), but it turns out he's lied to them about what the treasure is. It's actually the corpse of a vampire named Lilith (Angie Everhart), and he returns her heart to her, after which she comes back to life. She kills some of the guys who were working for Vincent, but he can control her, because he has the "key" from the previous movie. (How he got hold of it I have no idea, and I'm not even sure it's really supposed to be the same key.) Unlike the first movie, the opening scene is actually connected to the main movie, but after that scene the story is interrupted by a scene with the Crypt Keeper, before the story continues.

There's a woman named Catherine (Erika Eleniak), who lives with her brother, Caleb (Feldman). Catherine works for a TV minister named J.C. (Chris Sarandon), so she's very Christian, but Caleb is very not. Anyway, he goes out to a bar with some friends, and then some crazy guy tells them about a place they can get laid. Two of Caleb's friends decide not to go, but Caleb and one of his friends do go to the address the crazy guy gave them. It's a mortuary, but in the basement there's a bordello. But all the girls who work there are actually vampires, who I guess were sired by Lilith. A few days go by, and Caleb doesn't come home, so Catherine goes to the police. But they aren't interested in helping her, so she ends up hiring a sketchy P.I. named Rafe Guttman (Miller). He finds out from one of Caleb's friends where Caleb had gone, and subsequently his investigation eventually reveals the existence of the vampire bordello. Also, Vincent is working for J.C., though I have no idea how that came about. I just know that Lilith decides she wants to take J.C. out of the picture, so J.C. eventually teams up with Rafe (after Catherine gets abducted by Lilith and Caleb, who is now a vampire). And... a bunch of other stuff happens. It's all redonkulous, but kind of fun, if you watch with the proper mindset. (It's hard for me to say exactly what that mindset is; my first impulse is to say "an ironic appreciation of bad movies," except that this movie isn't terrible, so it's maybe even possible to enjoy it un-ironically. Or at least half-ironically.) And I dunno what else to say.