tek's rating:

Get Off My Porch (13:21)
IMDb; Vimeo

Caution: potential spoilers.

A short film by Patrick Rea, which I watched on Vimeo the same night as another of his films, Woman's Intuition, and several days after watching Cafe at the Crossroads. I liked this a bit less than those movies, but it was still okay. I definitely think it's more of a comedy than actual horror, but it is mildly disturbing, I guess. Sort of.

Anyway, there's this guy named Neil, who is home watching TV one day while his wife is out. Suddenly, the doorbell rings, and he answers the door. It's an adorable little girl named Mary, selling "Adventure Girl" cookies. Neil decides not to buy any, but she's rather persistent, and it takes a little while to get rid of her. Later, another Adventure Girl named Cindy shows up, also trying to sell cookies. Again he refuses. Eventually both girls try to sell him cookies, and later still they just leave boxes of cookies outside his door. Meanwhile, everyone around town seems to be buying cookies and... it seems like when they eat them, they're brainwashed, or something. I dunno. I definitely think the Adventure Girls aren't really what they seem, but what exactly they are, I have no idea. They definitely do turn out to be creepy, but without really losing any of their adorableness. As for whether or not Neil ever eats the cookies, I won't spoil that. But I will say that I never really got the sense that the cookies actually did any harm to anyone. They didn't turn people into zombies or mind-controlled slaves, or anything. The worst that could be said is they developed instant addictions to the cookies, but... that didn't seem to change anyone's lives. So whatever, I think the movie is really, like I said, a comedy, and maybe a sort of commentary about Girl Scouts and/or the people who are addicted to their cookies.

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