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The Emperor's New Groove (G)
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This came out in 2000, and was followed in 2005 by a direct-to-video sequel, Kronk's New Groove. In 2006, there was a TV series, The Emperor's New School, which I saw a fair amount of, and liked. But I didn't see either movie until 2013. Um... so the title is obviously derived from the fable of "The Emperor's New Clothes," though personally I see practically no similiarity in the plot of the movie to that story. Actually, I seem to recall when I first heard of the movie all those years ago, it put me in mind of the Biblical story of King Nebuchadnezzar, but I don't really remember that story at all, so I'm probably way off base. I also want to say that there are movies I have rated lower than this one, even though I feel like I must have liked them a bit more than this. And I feel like I probably like the show more than the movie, even though I rate the movie higher. It's just one of those things where I have no idea how my mind works the way it does, because it makes no sense. But whatever, it's a really fun movie, so it doesn't matter.

Anyway, there's this emperor who's about to turn 18, named Kuzco (David Spade). I guess he's an Inca, or whatever. (This is all kind of weird to me because I'm under the impression that the TV series is set after the movie, but I feel like he was a couple years younger in the series, and there are various things in the show that I don't think make sense given the events of the movie, but neither the movie nor the show were particularly concerned with making sense, so whatevs.) Um... Kuzco has an advisor named Yzma (Eartha Kitt), and she has a servant named Kronk (Patrick Warburton). Kuzco isn't happy that Yzma is always trying to run the empire herself, so he fires her and Kronk. Meanwhile, Kuzco has summoned a man named Pacha (John Goodman), the head of one of the villages in his empire, for a meeting. Kuzco tells Pacha that he plans to destroy his village, in order to build a summer home on the hill where Pacha lives with his wife, Chicha (Wendie Malick), and two kids, Chaca and Tipo.

Later, Yzma decides to poison Kuzco, since no one else knows she's been fired, so with him gone, she'd take over the empire. (This makes more sense than it did in the series. I guess.) But Kronk ends up giving Kuzco the wrong potion by mistake, and the emperor turns into a llama instead of dying. Kronk is supposed to take him out and kill him anyway, but the llama ends up on Pacha's cart, and is unwittingly taken back to Pacha's village. After getting home, Pacha finds the talking llama, who wants him to take him back to the palace, so Yzma can turn him human again. (They have no idea she's the one who turned him into a llama in the first place.) Pacha wants Kuzco to promise to build his summer home somewhere else, but Kuzco refuses. Because ever since he was a baby, he's gotten everything he wants, and seems unable to comprehend that what anyone else wants matters in the slightest. Everyone should just do whatever he wants without question, no matter the inconvenience to themselves. So, Pacha refuses to take him back to the palace, and Kuzco tries to find his own way home. But it's through a jungle full of tons of dangers, and since Pacha is such a nice guy, he eventually helps Kuzco out, anyway.

That's all I really want to reveal of the plot, but you can probably make a reasonable assumption about how it all ends, this being a Disney movie, and all. But while the basic formula of the plot is predictable enough, most of the stuff that actually happens in the movie is fairly uncommon. Some of it is pretty dark, but other stuff is just redonkulous. It really is a hilarious movie, and lampshades all sorts of movie tropes. It's brilliant, I tell you, brilliant! Some of the most brilliant madness I've ever seen. Oh, there's also a squirrel named Bucky (Bob Bergen), who talks in squirrel language (which only Kronk understands). And actually the squirrel isn't named Bucky, that seems to be something Kuzco calls him as a random insult. But I think that's what everyone calls him in the TV series. In any event, Bucky is only of minor importance to the story. Also I should mention that Tom Jones does the movie's theme song (which involves a bit of fourth-wall-breaking, a trope of which the movie is chock-full).

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